Very Very Poor Jokes

Question: An elephant was in love with a she-elephant.
But the she-elephant went and got married to some
other elephant. So our elephant was very Depressed.
One of his friends felt sorry for him, and took him to
a park to cheer him up. In the park, they sat on a
see-saw, but the see-saw broke. Now, which song would
our hero sing?
Ans: "See-saw ho ya dil ho, aakhir toot jaata hai."

Question: Two hairs on a bald man's head fall in love
with each other and want to get married, but cannot.
Why?
Ans: Because under Indian laws, "baal vivaah" is
illegal.

Question: One fine morning, Ravan felt guilty day for
all his bad deeds. He felt that he should go an
apologise to Ram for all the problems he had caused.
So he went to Ram's house and knocked on the door. Ram
opened the door and was surprised to find Ravan
standing there. Ravan just kept staring and thinking
but didn't say a word. What was he thinking?
Ans: "Kis mooh se maafi maangoon?"

Question: How do you "cut" roads?
Ans: By laughing.... because "Haste haste cut jaye
raaste".

Question: Luv and Kush are going to a village and pass
by a well. Luv falls into the well. Why?
Ans: Because Luv is blind.

Question: Now, Kush also jumps in. Why?
Ans: Because Luv ke liye saala Kush bhi karega!

Question: Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya
hai? Ans: D'Cold; Because.... Chan ki saans - D'Cold
Question: Chalo ab batao, Jackie Chan ki bahu ka naam
kya hai? ...........
Ans: D'Cold again... Kyunki saans bhi kabhi bahu thi

A railway station beggar meets another beggar.A
software engineer meets another software engineer.
Both of them ask the same question to each other.
What is the question?
"So, which platform are you working on?"

Question: What do you call a person who is leaving
India?
Ans: Hindustan Lever

Question: What do you call a person who leaves India,
but doesn't travel much?
Ans: Hindustan Lever Limited.

Question: Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha. Uska
naam kya tha?
Ans: Adidas.

Question: Prasad asks Kumble to bring a Pepsi. Kumble
brings a bottle, but takes it directly to Tendulkar.
Why?
Ans: Because Tendulkar is an opener.

Question: What is the similarity between Satynarayan
pooja and the Indian cricket team?
Ans: Dono ke ant me "Prasad" aataa hai.

Question: Who is Joe?
Ans: Kambakth ishq.. Because "Kambakth ishq hai Joe!"

Question: The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie
"my heart is an umbrella'. Which movie did he really
want to see?
Ans: Dil Chhaata Hai.

Once 5 CHIPKALIs (house lizards) :
Phulwa,RaamPyaari, RaamDulari,RaamPuri and RaamChuri
were crawling on the wall when all of a sudden, Phulwa started to
sing a song. the moment Phulwa stopped singing the song,
RaamPyaari,RaamDulari, RaamPuri and RaamChuri fell down
from the wall !!!...
WHY ???
coz, they all started clapping !!!!

Ek Aur
PJ Isse kehte hain........

Gattu ek lecture attend karta hai. lecture ke baad use bhookh lagti
hai. so he goes to the canteen. canteen mein gattu ek pav leta hai.
jaise hi woh pav khane ke liye uthata hai to dekhta hai ki uski plate
mein "jannat" likha hai.
To janaab ab aapko yeh batana hai ki gattu jiska
lecture attend karke aa raha hai, us proffessor ka
naam kya hai???
guess
The answer is
Ishq Ki Chhaon.
Jinke "Sir" ho "Ishq ki Chhaon"
"Pav" ke neeche "Jannat" hogi....
Don't scratch ur head this is a song from film "Dil
Se"

What wud u call a Gal who never laughs....?
..and the Answer is..........
HASINA !

PS: hottest pie in the town
This one will make u mad.........

Once all the scientists die and go to
heaven...........
They decide to play hide-n-seek......... Unfortunately Einstein is
the one who has the den........... He is supposed to count
upto 100...and
then start searching..... Everyone starts hiding
except
Newton.........Newton just draws a square of 1 meter
and stands in it right
in front of Einstein............ Einsteins
counting......97,98,99.....100........
He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in
front........
Einstein says "newtons out..newtons....out....."
Newton denies and says i am not out........ He claims
tht he is not Newton...... All the scientists come out
and he proves tht he is not newton..........
how..................
His proof:
Newton says:
I am standing in a square of area 1m square.....
That means i am Newton per meter square......
Hence i am Pascal....since newton per meter square = Pascal